locked inside
a container,
of my own making

I struggle to find
the light,
complete absence
thereof,
sets me off with a fright

struggling
to breath,
wondering
if life
is all that it seems

I get quiet,
quiet enough
to hear
the hammering
of my heart,
against
my painful chest

then,

it picks up
speed,
in relation
to the myriad
thoughts
roiling around my head,

faster
than anything
can be said
to have sped

slowing
them down
not possible,
tools escape me,
trapped,
and isolated,
tears well
in my eyes,
and I even,
at that time,
struggle to cry

they
leak instead,
when fullness
overflows
into stations
of another
portended foundation

and,

years later,
I will reflect on
these times,
after learning
has been delivered,
and understanding
is bourgeoning
within my hearts center

holding
these memories
ever so lightly,
abiding in my center
and knowing,
though painful,
these experiences,
were necessary, and
needed,
to live a life as full
as heeded

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#poetry, #center, #emotions, #foundation, #heart, #knowing, #learning, #letting-go, #life, #living, #love, #memories, #poem, #poems, #reminiscence, #understanding