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Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 7:09 pm on May 6, 2020
Tags: , , , , money, , , thinking error,   

Finding Comfort in Being Uncomfortable: Part 2

What is it you want out of life? Most of us would answer something like: money, health, and happiness. The usual suspects. Funnily enough, many of the things we want are those things that are best attained outside of our comfort zones. We believe, however, that comfort is relative to having the aforementioned, yet that is a simple thinking error. Let’s take a look.

Money

Regardless of how much money you make, to have money on hand takes a serious commitment to creating and sustaining a budget that is reasonable, which is uncomfortable. Yet budgeting your money in a reasonable way, even aggressive way, though uncomfortable, will give you that which you desire, more money on hand.

Taking on a promotion, or starting a new job, creates an unknown context, which can be very uncomfortable. However, that unknown context, if approached from an open mind, will create new growth opportunities, such as learning and developing new skill sets. And, having new skill sets will make you more adept in every context you work in.

Health

Attaining a level of health you desire takes a commitment to developing healthy habits in relation to your physical, mental, and spiritual self. Regular exercise, healthy eating habits, and time to focus on your inner self take time, and allocating that time every day can feel uncomfortable. Yet, doing these things regularly will create the context for your health to improve, and sustaining these activities over time will create more future health.

Happiness

In my estimation, the concept of happiness being attached to comfort is one of the largest thinking errors. Achieving happiness begins with a commitment to do those things in life that we often avoid, put off, deny, and disregard. Why?

Because taking the time to do those things is scary. What if I fail? Or what if it doesn’t work? Feelings of being uncomfortable in not knowing how our time investment will go is scary. Both of the aforementioned questions are common mantras for putting off those things that will stretch us most, which when committed to on a regular basis will increase our overall level of happiness.

Thinking Error

The thinking error I’ve referred to in this post is that by not doing the things in life that will make us most uncomfortable we will find those attributes we want most, like money, health, and happiness.

Yet here is the reality. The exact opposite is true. Doing those things in life that make us the most unformattable are the exact actions that will create the attributes, like money, health, and happiness, we want most. An apparent paradox.

Yet not really. It actually makes total sense. Do things that stretch you, which include doing things that scare you, make you nervous, and for surely make you uncomfortable, and you will achieve those things you most desire.

Being comfortable never produced anything. Being uncomfortable, however, has produced many, many things. Think about any historical figure, pick any one you like, and I guarantee you their life was full of uncomfortable situations. Situations they actively created, and welcomed with open arms.

Now it’s your turn. The next time someone asks you to do something you’ve always wanted to do, yet were too scared or uncomfortable to do, do it. Give it a try, and see what you get back. You may be quite surprised.

#comfort-zone, #creativity, #happiness, #health, #money, #motivation, #psychology, #thinking-error, #wellness

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 5:13 pm on May 6, 2020
Tags: artistic, , , , hobbies, ,   

Finding Writing Amidst the COVID-19 Health Crisis

To find something insinuates that you’ve lost something. Now, I’m not sure that I ever lost writing, however, I am sure that writing is back in my life in a way it was not previously.

Throughout my day I reflect upon the writing I’m now engaged with, and find myself grateful for the time the COVID-19 health crisis has provided me. Not grateful for the health crisis, mind you, grateful for the space provided to slow down, take in all that is surrounding me, and engage with things I enjoy.

It started with a conversation I had with my oldest son just prior to the shelter-in-place order being put in place. We were talking about the additional time people would have, being removed from their daily routines, and that with that extra time people might begin to imagine and create new things to do. I believe my son actual said something like, we will probably look back on this time as one of the most creative times ever. I agree.

I’ve noticed a lot more creativity in the world, from people creating new routines to keep themselves busy, new hobbies and activities to stay fit and healthy, new business models to engage shoppers in new ways, and much more.

I created a site called covid-19creativity.com as a place to warehouse my own creativity during the health crisis, and beyond. I just added the4catalysts.com website, and one other on youth development, to covid-19creativity.com so that all of my creativity is in one location.

Writing is pure creativity. As pure, I think, as any other artistic medium. It is a space created intentionally to communicate through language to both the intellectual and emotional parts of ourselves. In fact, I think the best writing is that which addresses both the head (intellect) and the heart (emotions). Not an easy task.

I never did lose writing, then. It was simply laying dormant within me awaiting the right time to reemerge. And, that time is now. So, if there is something you like to do, and you’ve had that inkling to give a try, do so. Take that first step, and see what happens. You might be surprised at what you get back. I sure was.

#artistic, #business, #covid-19, #creativity, #hobbies, #intention, #writing

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 8:19 pm on May 4, 2020
Tags: , , , , , theory and practice   

Creating Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence: noun

  1. the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is not something that we are born with, though we are all born with a set of emotions. Emotion, like thought, taste, touch, sight, hearing, and smell are one of our major senses.

It’s only been in the past couple of years that I’ve been working on getting in touch with, or, rather, understanding my own emotions. Many people believe they are in touch with their emotions, yet they are, in fact, simply covering them up with other things.

For instance, I used to cover up my emotions by overeating and drinking too much. Of course, at the time, I was not aware that I was engaging in those destructive habits as a way of denying, or refusing to accept, my emotions.

And, like many of you, I was not aware of nor was educated about my emotional self. For instance, I was not aware that when anger arises, today at least, it typically means that I am suppressing another emotion, which is usually sadness. Sadness, and the desperate need to cry.

I have read, and have taught, about masculinity in regard to emotions, and have commonly said, little boys are not taught how to deal with their emotions. In fact, they are taught to suppress their emotions. I thought at that time, I was in touch with my emotions, because I was able to theorize the accuracy of the information about masculinity and emotional intelligence.

However, theorizing about a subject, and actually knowing and understanding that subject on a visceral level are not the same thing. At the time I was teaching on masculinity and emotions, I was severely overweight and drinking heavily. Not in touch with my emotions at all.

Fast forward two years, and I am now just beginning to get in touch with my emotional self, which is both a painful and liberating process. Doing so has taken seeing someone once a week, and doing the internal investigation necessary to understand my emotions, and the events in my past that I am still holding onto.

Creating EI then is an intentional process of inquiry and investigation into parts of ourselves that we may want to leave well enough alone. Yet, what I am beginning to understand is that inquiring into, and investigating, our inner selves is part of being human, and our shared humanity.

#emotional-intelligence, #emotional-self, #emotions, #intention, #psychology, #theory-and-practice

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 7:21 pm on May 2, 2020
Tags: , , , thinking and feeling,   

Writing from the Head and the Heart

There is a difference for me in thinking about something and actually doing that something. I’ve been thinking about writing my whole life, and have only actually written during a very short period of it.

A couple of years ago I read the book by Stephen King, called On Writing. A great book, by the way. In that book King asks you to practice writing by imagining a situation taking place in a house, and you have to write the character, yourself I think, out of that situation. Out of the house. I did that, and have started several other stories, including the one on this site, yet have, to date, finished none. So far.

Yes, I wrote in college, and even completed a thesis. Yet, that is not the kind of writing I’m talking about. Writing a thesis or a dissertation is about thinking. I’m talking about the kind of writing that comes from the heart. The kind of writing that moves, touches, and inspires people. Maybe even puts people into action in their life.

Now, I am not insinuating that the book I am now working on will do that. Yet, in the book I am now working on I get to write from both the head and the heart, which is also distinct.

The difference, for me at least, is that I get to let go of the way I normally think, and get in touch with a totally different aspect of myself. Maybe this is a normal experience for those that write often. I would not know. It is, however, an experience that I like quite a bit.

As for writing, I don’t think I like it all that much. Especially the editing process. Difficult. Yet, there is a very real release in writing, which is quite intoxicating. And, it does provide that outlet for the realease of ideas, which I do have many.

For me the distinction on writing from the head and the heart is where you create from – are you creating from that thinking part of yourself, where you are analyzing every aspect of the paper or book to ensure it is reliable and valid. Or, are you writing to write. Writing from the heart, which only really requires that you can stick with it until you have all of the ideas out of you.

Both forms of writing serve a purpose. Both are needed. For me, I have just realized in the last couple of years, that while I do enjoy reading both kinds of books, from the head and the heart, I much more enjoy writing from the heart.

#creativity, #head, #head-and-heart, #thinking-and-feeling, #writing

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 6:41 pm on May 2, 2020
Tags: , , , , , , life events,   

Finding Comfort in Being Uncomfortable: Part 1

There are countless quotes, books, and movies about “living outside of your comfort zone.” What this actually means, however, is open to great interpretation, and, I think, changes for people over time. How you view the idea of living outside of your comfort zone is a product of how you were raised, how you think, the context you live and work in, and those that you surround yourselves with.

Further, the idea and actually experience of a comfort zone, and the corresponding uncomfortableness that comes with being outside of it is different for everyone. As there are over 7.5 billion people on the planet, we can actually say that there are over 7.5 billion different comfort zones.

Growth is the byproduct or result of living outside of your comfort zone. In fact, the only real growth there is is found outside of your comfort zone. There is never any growth inside of a comfort zone. This may seem like common sense, and it is, however, most people have a hard time realizing this truth. Why? Simple. If feels really good inside of our comfort zones.

Who would want to intentionally create situations or contexts that challenged this comfortability? Really, not many. Most people are perfectly content inside their comfort zones. Yet, if these people were to examine themselves on the inside, they would find that this contentment is covering up other issues.

Sometimes being outside of your comfort zone happens unintentionally, which can happen when we are faced with a very stressful situation or life event that we didn’t see coming. If we are open to it, there is also growth in these experiences.

Learning how to find comfort in being uncomfortable is manifested by doing things that we find uncomfortable often. When we are open to getting outside of our comfort zones often, there is a comfort that comes as a byproduct of the continual practice of being uncomfortable.

As with most everything else, it takes practice to realize this kind of comfort in the uncomfortable. By practice, I simply mean creating intentional contexts that we find uncomfortable, and engaging in these contexts until they no longer feel as uncomfortable. Ultimately, until they feel comfortable.

If you are reading this and thinking, nope, not me, I like my comfort zone and have no need to create intentional contexts of uncomfortability. Very well, that is your choice.

If, however, you are thinking, maybe, or yes, sign me up. Then go out and do one thing today that you’ve been avoiding or putting off because it makes you feel uncomfortable, and see what happens.

If it’s anything like the many experiences I’ve had, yes, you can count on being uncomfortable. Yet, you can also count on that experience providing you a whole lot more, which is only possible by doing things that you find uncomfortable.

Until next time….

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#being-uncomfortable, #comfort-zone, #covid-19, #growth, #human-development, #intention, #life-events, #psychology

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 6:34 pm on April 30, 2020
Tags: , , , , , , , result   

Motivation: Is it an inside or outside job?

This week I’ve been more present to motivation. What I mean is noticing awesome people in my contexts doing amazing things, and the motivation that comes from creating such possibilities. 

A good friend of mine once told me that motivation does not come from an outside source, that, in fact, motivation comes from doing things. Thinking about motivation this way creates the space for an understanding that motivation doesn’t just magically appear. Motivation comes from doing, simple.

Yet, as human beings, understanding what is a simple concept about motivation, is not always simple to put into practice. Why? Because humans create patterns (or habits) that are very hard to change. 

However, it is possible to change them. And, the first step to creating that change, is to understand that the motivation to do so will develop inside the actions you take to make these changes. Motivation does not live inside of thinking about the changes, only in the doing.

With so much change happening as a result of the COVID-19 health crisis, then, all of us are living outside of our typical patterns, or habits, and that is difficult for everyone. You are not alone in feeling this way. 

It seems to me then that motivation is an inside job. The motivation to take action in life, lives inside the action itself, which we create.

Sometimes humans also want to connect an action to a result. However, connecting actions to results sets us up for failure. When we believe that we are taking action for a result, we concentrate and expect the result to look or be a certain way. And, when the result is not that way, we typically say, I’ve lost my motivation.

Motivation is not lost. It is simply hiding inside the next action, so let go of your expectations on the result, and take that next action.

My invitation – continue to take those daily actions, which create new patterns, new motivations, and new possibilities.

Until next time…

#action, #change, #covid-19, #habits, #motivation, #patterns, #possibility, #result

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 6:28 pm on April 29, 2020
Tags: , , , , , , ,   

COVID-19 and the Art of Possibility

Possibility: Noun – a thing that may happen or be the case.

I’ve been thinking more about possibility this week. What’s possible in our new landscape? Are the same things possible today, as were possible 6 months ago? Not sure? Me either, so let’s take a look.

The Art of Possibility is about creating a context. A context specific to new ways to think about old and or new problems or issues. It is about letting go of preconceived notions of what is possible in a given situation.

The psychology of possibility is rather simple. Let go of the past, be in the present, and create the future from where you stand today, seeing reality as it is. Not how we think it is, rather how it really is.

Seeing reality as it really is means being aware of our thinking patterns, and knowing when we are limiting ourselves by presuming or assuming we know all there is to know about a problem, issue, or situation we are faced with. Facutlay, humans know very little – if you don’t believe this blogger, read a little Socrates.

The sociology of possibility involves creating traction with those around us in the art of possibility. As I’ve written elsewhere, humans are social animals, and rely upon connections with other humans. It is only natural then that groups will function in accordance with the language they use to describe their shared reality. If that language is about limitation then limitation is what they will see and create. If, however, that language is about possibility, then possibility is what they will see and create.

The possibility of possibility is about remaining open to new ideas, new understanding, and letting go of the notion that we know. Seems simple, yet can be difficult, as human beings are in some ways programmed to think they know more than they do, which is where vulnerability comes in. Being open means being vulnerable.

Be vulnerable today in some way. Create and share a possibility with someone in your context, and, or create and share a possibility here. Either way, create and share. What else is there, really?

Until next time…

#covid-19, #creation, #creativity, #human-development, #possibility, #psychology, #sociology, #vulnerability

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 7:54 pm on April 26, 2020
Tags: , , , school,   

COVID-19, Youth Development, and Creativity

This past week, I’ve been reflecting upon the COVID-19 health crisis in regard to youth development. I’ve been thinking about the online schooling all kids are now doing, and thinking about how that is a fit for some, and yet not for all. Regardless, it is so important that youth have access to their education during this health crisis. Knowledge acquisition is part and parcel to creativity. New knowledge equates to the generation of new ideas and possibilities.

Youth also need the space to do other things. Space to step away from the computer screen, and get in touch with other aspects of their being. However, that is difficult if the brain, and body for that matter, are constantly stimulated.

For instance, today I had this wonderful insight about a blog topic for today, yet due to a busier day than normal, that insight went away. Now, I know it will be back, and spend time purposefully away from sensual stimulation to create space for those types of insights to return.

Youth need downtime. Time they can use to get in touch with their creative self, and just be, free from the constraints of constant stimulation. It does not have to be hours each day. To start, it can be 10 or 20 minutes a day. Taking a walk around the block, sitting outside in the sun, and doing yard work, or gardening are just a few ideas.

Anything, while adhering to local social distancing policies, to create space so they can be with their ideas, and think about themselves in different ways, not always connected to someone or something.

If you are interested in youth development, take a look at this site, which my son and I created this past year.

Until next time…

#covid-19, #creativity, #knowledge, #school, #youth-development

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 1:49 pm on April 25, 2020
Tags: , , concept, , , , , , idea,   

Fear of the Unknown

This past week, I created a message about fear of the unknown in a Friday Message to the team of folks I work and collaborate with.

Here is that message

This week I’ve been noticing, and reflecting upon fear. Fear that comes with not knowing. And, the byproducts of fear of the unknown, like being nervous and or anxious. I notice them first within myself. The only way one can notice them in others is to first notice them in oneself. 


There is also a knowing in all of this unknown, however, which is that fear and fear’s byproducts are a normal part of the human experience. You are not alone in your fear. If someone tells you they have no fear, they are simply not aware of the fear within themselves, or refuse to accept it.


I was talking to my mom this week, who lives in CA, where the restrictions on shelter-in-place and social distancing are much more rigorous than here locally. We were talking about my mom’s fear about the future, and the realization that this is a normal process of understanding. 

I believe that to understand what is possible, and to create new future realities, we must acknowledge all aspects of our being, our shared humanity. When we do so, we open up a creative space within ourselves and the space to share ourselves with others experiencing the same emotions and fears.


By recognizing our fears as a part of the normal human experience we also create acceptance within ourselves of our fears, and likewise then create the space to accept others and their fears. 

This is called compassion. Compassion for ourselves, our neighbors, our friends, family, team, our local community, and the greater world.

I share this with you as a creation that stemmed from the COVID-19 health crisis. To often, I think, people get caught up in thinking they are not creative, which can actually inhibit creativity, and is simply not true. Creativity lives inside each of us, and can be defined in a myriad of ways, from an idea, to a fully operating business.

One of the distinctions about creativity, is that in order for a creative idea or business model to live in the world, action must be taken. Otherwise the creative idea or business model remains a concept in language. So, take action today, and go execute on your conceptual creativity.

Until next time…

#action, #business, #concept, #covid-19, #creativity, #execution, #fear, #human-development, #idea, #unknown

Unknown's avatar Jeff Flesch 8:08 pm on April 23, 2020
Tags: , , , , ,   

Creativity this week

I’ve been writing again, since the COVID-19 outbreak. The writing is one of the things that has “come back” with the extra time. It is interesting to examine human nature. We work very hard to stay as busy as possible, and yet inside of business, there is little space for creativity. Yes, you can be creative while leading a busy life. Yet, you can be even more creative when you stop to pause, ponder, and wonder.

So, then, this is the companion blog that I created this week as an outlet for the writing. No idea if it will go anywhere. And, really, the writing is not about it going somewhere. It is about taking that creative action, realizing that outlet, or manifesting that output. However you say it, matters less than taking those steps to do something different. Or, do something that you’ve not done in some time.

For instance, last week I played golf, while of course adhering to the social distancing order, for the first time in 3 or 4 years. That felt good. I played really bad. Again, that is not the point. The point, for me anyway, was taking the action, doing something.

Well, that is it from me for now. Before I go a question for you.

What did you create this week?

And, if you didn’t create anything, which I know you did, even if you don’t consider it a creation, what will you create next week?

Reply and let the world know.

Until next time…

#action, #blog, #covid-19, #creativity, #human-nature, #writing