Jeff Flesch 8:00 am on January 31, 2021
Tags: creatingyourlifeanew, journaling, lawofattraction ( 2 ), lifecoach, manifestations, Meditation ( 22 ), perspectiveandreality, practice ( 5 ), reflecting ( 11 ), talking, thebody, thoughtsandfeelings ( 2 ), Writing ( 94 )

The Law of Attraction

A Few Simple Steps to Create a Whole New Reality for Your Life

I’ve been thinking and reflecting upon writing an article on the law of attraction for a while now. Though some people may consider the law of attraction a metaphysical topic, which it is, it is also quite scientific, and, well, quite frankly, part of how the Universe works.

Why is this important?

Well, if you are interested in achieving goals in life, then the law of attraction will be important to you. And, I’d say most people are interested in achieving the goals they have for themselves.

Furthermore, if you are interested in getting outside of a loop of negative thought patterns, understanding the law of attraction, in a very practical way, is also important.

Before we get into our discussion, let’s define the law of attraction.

Law of attraction
The belief that positive thoughts are magnets for positive life experiences and negative thoughts (i.e. the very cynical definition previously provided for this term) are magnets for negative life experiences.
Urban Dictionary

There we go.

Alright, in this article we will take a look at the law of attraction from three perspectives. All of which, combine to form a unified whole. Ready? Good. Here we go.

Thoughts and Feelings

It is factual that how we think creates our reality. Let’s do a quick example to show how this works. I want you to think about a time when you were really frustrated about something, and that frustration lasted for at least a day, maybe longer. Many of us have experienced this type of frustration.

When you were frustrated in this way, how did the world look, feel, and function to you? Likely, it functioned in a frustrated way. Meaning, that you saw and experienced people that seemed frustrated to you. And, you likely blamed them for your apparent frustration. The issue?

Well, no one outside of ourselves is responsible for how we think and feel. They are not. Therefore, when we experience frustration in the world, and it affects us in some way, we are likely, on some level, frustrated ourselves.

Knowing this to be true about ourselves is not a demerit. It’s not. It just happens. And, happens often for people that are unaware of how their thoughts and feelings affect their actions.

You can conversely think about a time when you were joyful, again for a sustained period of time, and I bet you saw and experienced much more joy. Right? Yep. Same.

All of this simply means that it is how we think and feel that creates our reality. And, if we are stuck inside of negative thinking patterns, as I once was, we will experience our beautiful world through a lens of negativity. And, conversely, if we are “stuck” inside of positive thinking patterns, we will experience our beautiful world through a lens of positivity.

Your Body and Manifestations

And, whether we see the world negatively or positively matters and manifests throughout our body. Why? Because human beings have a tendency to hold onto their emotions. Therefore, if we are seeing the world through a negative lens, we will experience more negative emotions, and holding these emotions within ourselves will cause pain and suffering.

Further, when we see the world through a negative perspective, or cynically, we will typically make justifications and excuses for our negative behavior. Meaning, abusing our body in ways that will end up causing us more pain and suffering. An example here may help.

For many years I saw the world through a very cynical lens. It’s not a demerit. As a matter of fact, I understand this time in my life as a blessing today. Yes, it was painful, yet it was how I knew how to live in the world, and, therefore, has, upon much reflection and internal work, given me many insights.

Insights which help me tremendously today as a parent, friend, coworker, and leader. Immensely helpful.

When I was stuck in these negative thinking patterns, I held onto my anger. And, therefore I saw anger everywhere. And, I mean everywhere. Yet, I had no conception at the time that the anger I was seeing was my own. And? It was.

It was my anger, because I was the one thinking about and feeling anger, thus I gave out anger often, which caused others to be angry. Further, I could sense anger very easily, as I was in a more or less constant state of anger.

Fast forward 4 years, and my experience of life today is completely different. And, it has everything to do with how I think and feel; and, how those thoughts and feelings bring more of the same into my life; and, that, in essence and practicality is the law of attraction.

Perspective and Reality

How we think and feel affects our perspective, as we’ve just discussed, thus affecting our experience of reality. I’ve written before that there are over 7 billion worlds, or realities, on this one planet. It’s true.

Each of us has a different experience of life, based on, yes, how we were raised, the life experiences we’ve had, and how we currently think and feel.

How we think and feel brings more of those same thoughts and feelings into our life. There are some that say that thoughts are just like any other thing on this planet; meaning that they are made of matter, just like we are.

And, when thought and feeling matter are manifest in our day-to-day experience we get back more of that same matter.

As simple as all of this may sound and read, it is not necessarily easy, or simple, to create new thinking and feeling patterns, or habits. Human beings like to stay in their comfortable patterns, even when those patterns are likely hurting themselves and those around them.

Practice

Because habits are hard to change, let’s take a look at a few strategies I use daily to continue to iterate my thinking and feeling.

Meditation – a meditation practice, when guided by an expert, can be transformative. When we learn to sit in silence, we get to see and experience our thoughts and feelings in a whole new way. And, in seeing and experiencing our thoughts and feelings in new ways, we create the possibility of working through these thoughts and feelings, and eventually releasing them.
Writing – I’ve been journaling in different ways for years now. I find the experience very therapeutic. There is something about actually seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper that creates a space to dive deeper into why you are thinking and feeling as you are. It’s like a thread, which you can use to trace thoughts and feelings back to their origins.
Talking – finding someone to talk to about how you think and feel is another way to open yourself up to new ways of thinking and feeling. As I’ve mentioned many times, I’ve been seeing a life coach for 4 years now, and inside of those conversations, I get a whole different perspective on why I am thinking and feeling as I am. And, with a different perspective comes new possibilities.
Reflecting – one of my favorite parts of the process of getting to know yourself on a deeper level is reflection. I reflect often, and use the knowledge gained in my reflections to continue to move myself forward as a human being. Insights from reflecting can come at any time, however, creating quite time for yourself throughout the day, so you can reflect is important. If we are continuously plugged in and receiving stimulation, there is less time to reflect, and therefore less insight will come.

Alright, that concludes this post on the law of attraction.

Remember, we truly are what we think and feel. Our thoughts and feelings shape our perspective and thus our reality; and , it takes time and practice to begin to create new thought and feeling patterns, or habits, for ourselves.

Therefore, as you walk through your day today, begin to question your thoughts and feelings. And, make sure to create quiet time for yourself so you can begin to see why it is you think and feel as you do.

Once you begin to create time for yourself to reflect, you will get insights about yourself, which will create new possibilities for your life. And, it’s inside of these new possibilities, where you can begin to create new thinking and feeling habits, which will create new experiences of the same world you lived in before.

And, through the law of attraction, you will begin to attract a whole new reality into your life.

#creatingyourlifeanew, #journaling, #lawofattraction, #lifecoach, #manifestations, #meditation, #perspectiveandreality, #practice, #reflecting, #talking, #thebody, #thoughtsandfeelings, #writing

Jeff Flesch 1:33 pm on November 28, 2020
Tags: coaching ( 5 ), diet, emotionalintelligence ( 19 ), emotions ( 87 ), exercise ( 3 ), feeling ( 17 ), journaling, leadership ( 54 ), leadershipdevelopment ( 45 ), leadershippsychology, Meditation ( 22 ), Mindfulness ( 19 ), reflecting ( 11 ), samskaras, Self Development ( 21 ), thinking, thinkingandfeeling ( 2 ), thoughtimpressions, understandingyourself ( 2 )

The Leadership Series Part 2: Why Developing the Self is Always the First Step in Leadership

The Leadership Psychology of How We Think and Feel

This past week a colleague of mine and I were talking about leadership. Well, to be more accurate, we are always talking about leadership. Fun.

Anway, this colleague was talking about the upcoming leadership group training they would be facilitating, and they were talking about how important it is for leaders to understand how they think, feel, and act.

After reflecting upon the concept of thinking, feeling, and acting, which I totally agree with, another concept occured to me. Speaking. Also important.

Thus, the idea for this first-half of the two-part article on Developing the Self was created. Before we get into our discussion, however, let’s reset the first installment in the Leadership Series.

In the first installment of the Leadership Series, The Leadership Series Part 1: What is Leadership, and Why is it so Important?, we unpacked leadership as a concept and practice.

We also discussed 2 things that are very important to be clear about early on in any leadership development journey, which are

Understanding yourself.
Understanding your leadership style.

In this second installment, we will discuss understanding yourself as the very first step in a leadership development journey. Why? Good question.

Let’s take a look, shall we.

There are two ways we will approach this discussion.

Psychologically
Sociologically

Ready? Good, let’s go.

Leadership Psychology

Right, so, what in the world is leadership psychology? Well, in this context, we are going to address two main concepts. Thinking and feeling. Both are very important to understand for anyone in leadership.

If you don’t know why you think and feel as you do, you’ll never be able to understand how and why others think and feel as they do. Simple.

And, as a leader, you must understand how the people in your team, organization, business, and or family, or friend network think and feel. Very important.

Having an impact starts with us. Each of us. Understanding how and why we think and feel as we do is a necessity in any leadership role. Any and all leadership roles.

Thinking

An entire article, nay, book can be written about how we think in regards to, well, just about everything in life. Leadership included. It’s that important.

In fact, how we think drives everything else we will discuss in this article. It all starts with the mind. The quality of our mind. Meaning? Good question.

As I’ve written about in other articles, human beings are meaning-makers. Meaning, pun intended, that we take in data, information or stimuli, and we convert those stimuli, whatever they are, into narratives.

We do this to make sense of the world, and our place in it. A simple example can illustrate this point.

If my thinking is about the past, and all of the wrongs I’ve suffered, or bad things that have happened, I will bring these thoughts, feelings, verbalizations, and actions into the present moment. And?

I, in essence, will recreate the past. Reliving, as possible, past trauma again and again. And, so will everyone else I am interacting with and in relationship with.

However, if I am aware of my thoughts, and how I think, I can work on the thought impressions, called samskaras in sanskrit, and, over time, release them.

When they are released they stop showing up as a thought. It takes time.

These samskaras, thought impressions of old patterns and habits, loose power when you inquire into why they are there in the first place. Meaning, that creating self-awareness for a leader is a crucial aspect of leadership development.

When we have some sense of our own self, we can step outside of those thought patterns or habits and create new ones.

And, it is in the creation of new thought patterns where true empowerment is found for leaders, first, yes, for themselves, and then for their teams, organizations, families, and friends.

There are four things I do on a regular basis to increase my self-awareness.

Meditation
Diet
Exercise
Coaching

Each of these contributes to self-awareness in unique ways, and they combine to increase clarity, calmness of mind, well-being, and insight into who you are as a human being, and how you relate to yourself and everyone else. Very important.

Feeling

As was aforementioned, how we think really does affect, even predict, how we feel, speak, and act, and how we feel on a general level and even on a more specific level, which is very important.

Important to how we relate to ourselves and everyone else.

I grew up in a household where people definitely displayed emotion, yet it was still hidden, and definitely not talked about. And, that’s not a demerit. Why?

Because my parents were not shown how to understand their emotions and then how to constructively talk about them. It is far more normal, especially in the United States, than people might imagine. And?

Not helpful to your own development, nor is it to your teams, organizations, families, or friends. If you don’t know why you feel the way you do, you will not understand how others feel.

And, if you are unable to understand how you and the people around you feel, you cannot talk about feelings in productive and constructive ways.

However, when you know how you feel, understand why you feel as you do, and learn how to talk about emotions in healthy ways, you can navigate more complex conversations and situations as they arise.

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

And, in leadership roles, nay, in life, complex situations and conversations happen all the time. Sometimes every day.

In addition to meditation, diet, exercise, and weekly coaching, there are a couple of other things I do to understand my feelings and emotional state.

Journaling
Reflecting

Journaling, and reflecting upon how you feel, is a very important process; especially when we are truly interested in understanding how and why we feel as we do. Some questions I typically ask myself are as follows.

What is the feeling that I am feeling?
What is the thought that is driving that feeling?
Where did that thought come from?

When you understand what you’re feeling, what thought is driving the feeling, and where the thought came from, you can begin to acknowledge the feeling.

When we can acknowledge how we truly feel, we can then release that feeling once we’ve gained true understanding. And, true understanding may mean working on a thought/feeling combination for some time.

Now, I’ve written most of this section with an assumption in mind. That, the work we do to understand how we feel, is needed mostly when we experience “negative” feelings, or emotions.

The emotions and associated feelings that bring us pain, discomfort, worry, and anxiety, for instance.

Why is it important to work on these “negative” emotions and feelings?

Because if we don’t understand how we feel and why we feel as we do, we will regularly give out all of that “negative” emotion to other people. And?

And, then, yes, we are giving out all of our anger, frustration, sadness, or whatever other feeling we have to everyone around us, and we are doing so unintentionally.

If you want to see an example of how this looks, just go to the grocery store and hang out for a while. You will encounter someone that is completely unaware of their emotional state. It won’t take long.

It happens all the time, every day. As was aforementioned, especially in the United States, where there is still, yes even in 2020, stigma about talking about our emotions. Not helpful and extremely unhealthy.

Now, understanding our feelings does not mean that we run out and tell everyone that we meet that we are frustrated, for instance, and here are the reasons why. A paradox? Yes?

Understanding your emotions and why you feel as you do, helps you do the exact opposite.

When we understand why we feel as we do, we can hold our emotions more, and find the right times to talk about them in appropriate ways; meaning healthy and constructive ways. Very important.

In Closing

Alright, though I have more to say on both of the aforementioned topics, for now, that concludes the first part of this second installment in the leadership series. Next?

We will take a look at Leadership Sociology. And, yep, you are correct, Leadership Sociology and Leadership Psychology are connected. They influence each other. A reciprocal relationship, if you like.

For now, remember, leadership psychology as defined here, understanding how we think and feel is an important first step in developing ourselves, yes, as leaders, and even more importantly as human beings.

When we are open to our own development, we can create contexts that are growth-oriented for everyone. It works that way.

Remember, it starts with you, with me, with each of us. Therefore, when we catch ourselves looking outside of ourselves for answers to why we think and feel as we do, we must remember to look within.

Because, my friends, within ourselves is the only place we will find the answers.

#coaching, #diet, #emotionalintelligence, #emotions, #exercise, #feeling, #journaling, #leadership, #leadershipdevelopment, #leadershippsychology, #meditation, #mindfulness, #reflecting, #samskaras, #self-development, #thinking, #thinkingandfeeling, #thoughtimpressions, #understandingyourself

Jeff Flesch 9:31 pm on July 7, 2020
Tags: exercise ( 3 ), healthy diet, healthy habits, journaling, loving yourself ( 3 ), Meditation ( 22 ), motivation ( 6 ), personal development ( 3 ), quiet time ( 2 ), Relationships ( 28 ), Self Development ( 21 ), sleep ( 2 ), well-being ( 2 ), Writing ( 94 )

The Self-Development Tips Series 1: The Art of Loving Yourself

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships this week. In fact, I am always thinking about relationships in some way, as I do believe they are one of the most important things in life. So very important.

Yet, when you think of relationships, what is your first thought?

Is it of yourself, or someone else? Most people will say someone else. Why? Because, I think, we are in many ways programmed to think externally first.

However, it is always, and will forever be, the ways in which we look internally first that we will then be able to turn our gaze outward.

Meaning that how we think about and treat ourselves is exactly how we will think about and treat other people. What to do?

We must learn to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, be good to ourselves, and find ways to make time for ourselves.

It is very common, however, to think that by taking care of others we are, in effect, taking care of ourselves. Not so. When we “take care” of others at the expense of our own self-care, or at the expense of their own development, we help no one; and, no one grows.

What can we do?

We can begin to develop a healthy relationship with ourselves now. Today.

It is through developing a relationship with ourselves that we can begin to love ourselves for the human beings that we are. And, guess what? As we develop a loving relationship with ourselves, our external relationships will become more stable, and loving.

It is then that everyone in our sphere, starting with ourselves, has the ability to grow and develop. Does this mean that our relationships will be easy? No. It might mean that some of them will be more difficult.

Especially if we have created relationships with people that have superseded our own relationship with ourselves.

However, once we begin to look inward, and make choices about what’s best for ourselves, we can begin to move ourselves forward.

And, create that loving relationship with ourselves that is absolutely necessary and needed in order to have healthy relationships with anyone.

Alright, so how and where do we begin? And, what strategies can you use to get in touch with yourself, and begin to create, develop, and maintain the most important relationship in your life?

Let’s take a look at a few that I use daily.

Quiet Time

Until about three years ago, I was always on the go. Always. I didn’t ever really stop until it was time for bed. And then, I would not sleep well. When I started to incorporate quiet time into my day, I immediately noticed the health benefits.

If quiet time was so beneficial, why didn’t you incorporate it into your life earlier?

Because I didn’t know how. When you live one way, that is what you know. Sounds silly. It is, however, very true. Unless someone else shows you another way, you will continue to do things that are not beneficial for you.

All the while, there is another way, you just don’t have access to it yet.

If you are always running, I suggest building in quiet time into your day. How? Any way you can. Know that when I write quiet time, I mean any time you can get away from technology and other people.

As much as I love people, and all of my relationships, as I’m sure you also do, we all need a break from the constant stimulation. Needed.

Journaling and Writing

Journaling and writing are also helpful. As I’ve written in other posts, I’ve been writing for some time, however, I only began to write introspectively these past couple of years.

Writing about how you are feeling, what your hopes and dreams are, and how you intend to achieve them is a totally different type of writing.

When we write as a way to understand ourselves better, we open up the possibility of actually getting to know ourselves better. And, to have a quality relationship with ourselves, and everyone else, we must know who we are. Very important.

When we get to know ourselves, really know ourselves, diving deep into why we feel as we do, and getting clearer on the things that have happened in our past, which we are still holding onto, we can begin to heal.

And, it is inside of this healing where our deepest and most profound transformation can occur. Learning to love the person we were, are, and will be. Special.

Meditation

I’ve written about my meditation practice in several posts now, and, indeed, on this topic it is no different. The health benefits I’ve experienced from learning how to mediate, and to incorporate meditation into my daily routine have been, and are, profound. Why?

Because it is your time. Just for you. A time for introspection, to learn about yourself. What makes you, you, and how your humanness works. When you sit, you get to know more about how your mind and body work, and how they work together.

And, inside of a learning like this, you have more access to understand yourself and all of humanity in a whole new way.

In the article, Creating a Meditation Practice: 3 Steps in 4 Minutes, I write about some simple steps you can take to create a meditation practice. It takes time, dedication, and creating the habit. If you are a beginner, it is also helpful to have someone coach you along the way.

What is most important? Taking the time you need to begin a meditation practice if it is something you’ve been interested in. Why wait?

Dietary Needs

For the longest time I didn’t focus on my diet. In fact, it was one of those things that bothered me terribly, as I was very overweight, yet, I continued to eat poorly.

Not loving myself for a long time.

It is important to eat well. What we put into our body has direct implications for how our mind and body functions. Really. When I began to focus on my diet, which started slowly, I would take one thing out of my diet at a time that was unhealthy for me. Then, I would take something else out. Takes time.

The amount of clarity you gain by removing foods loaded with artificial ingredients and high levels of sugar is profound. Not something I ever really understood or knew about. It is loving yourself to create a diet that is rich in nutrients.

A high-quality diet will fuel your mind, body, and soul. Believe me.

There are plenty of articles out there about creating a healthy diet, and you can also work on your diet with your doctor. What do I know? That eating more naturally produced foods, vegetables, beans, fruits, and nuts has been very beneficial for me.

My diet has been totally plant-based for almost a year now, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, except, the change that comes from continuing to learn about new ways to purchase and prepare new foods.

Exercise

I’ve always believed in exercise, and through most of my life have enjoyed walking. However, I never really developed a healthy exercise habit until about 2 years ago. Exercise is important. We all need it.

Further, exercise also gives you time for yourself. Time to explore your own needs when it comes to being with your body. You can develop a healthy exercise habit or routine by simply creating the space in your day to do so.

I know. It sounds easy, and yet it can be difficult. Understood. Many people ask or wonder about how to develop the motivation to keep up a regular exercise routine. In the article, Motivation: Is it an inside or outside job?, I write about the fact that motivation comes from within.

Motivation comes from the doing of that which you want to do regularly. Simple. People often say they aren’t motivated, so they can’t get to the gym, or that they are too busy, so there is not time to go for a walk. Normal.

However, the only way to become motivated is to actually go to the gym, or make the space in your day for a walk. That’s it. And, after you’ve done so, and continue to do so, in time, you will find your motivation.

You will also have developed another healthy habit, and routine. Loving yourself.

Sleep Well

Sleep is so important, yet in the United States in particular, we often disregard our sleep in favor of other activities. Though I sleep better than ever before, I still struggle in this area.

It’s like that though. You develop yourself, loving yourself, a little at a time. You learn, you create new habits, some old habits hang around longer than others, then they also eventually go away. All the while I am inviting you to persist.

Persist in loving yourself, and allowing yourself the time needed to recuperate from your day. So very important. When we do not give ourselves that time, we will not be our best the next day. It’s just not possible to be your best when you are tired.

Believe me, I know. I spent many years sleeping poorly. Staying up very late, drinking too much, and sleeping, well, like you would imagine. Not well.

And, like the rest of this article, it takes creating the healthy habit of loving yourself enough to ensure that you get the rest you need.

When you are fully rested, you have the opportunity to be your best the next day. For yourself, first, and then for all of those around you.

Alright, there we have it. There are 6 different tips that when worked on, over time, can bring you more time, energy, rest, peace, and overall well being.

And, inside of increasing our overall well being, we are practicing the art of loving ourselves.

For, it is inside of the love that we show to ourselves first, that we can really begin to love other people. When we don’t show ourselves the love we deserve, by taking care of ourselves, we cannot really love other people. Not really.

Loving starts with the love you show yourself. Show yourself love today, then, by taking up a healthy habit you’ve been avoiding or putting off.

It takes creating the time, and taking action. Remember, developing your new healthy habit will take time. Yet, I am inviting you to persist in your quest to develop your healthy habit. Why?

Because you are worth it. Learning to love yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And, it is also one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other, and all of humanity.

#exercise, #healthy-diet, #healthy-habits, #journaling, #loving-yourself, #meditation, #motivation, #personal-development, #quiet-time, #relationships, #self-development, #sleep, #well-being, #writing

Jeff Flesch 4:50 pm on July 4, 2020
Tags: healing ( 97 ), introspection ( 160 ), journaling, mind and heart, Mindfulness ( 19 ), Self Development ( 21 ), self-inquiry ( 2 ), strategies for healing from pain, Writing ( 94 ), writing about pain, writing to heal

Writing and Life Series #4: On Pain and Healing Through Writing

How many of you write as a release? Write to get the ideas, thoughts, concerns, dreams, wishes, and hopes out of your head and into a format that you can read and reflect upon. Yes, no? Maybe?

For most of my life, I didn’t. I didn’t regularly write out any of the aforementioned. Not because I wouldn’t have found it beneficial, more because I didn’t really know how. Sounds funny. It is true though.

I would tinker with writing here and there, yet never really developed a system to do so. What I realize now is that having a systematic way you write, or enter into any creative process is, at least for me, very helpful.

It is how I can continue to do so. To write through my pain and heal.

I find that writing of any kind, on a whiteboard, in a journal, in a computer document, anything, is very therapeutic. Why? Because you can then study what you are thinking, instead of simply thinking about it.

There is an important distinction here.

If you only ever think about something, you don’t really do anything with it, with the exception of maybe obsessing over it or worrying about it. Which, in the end, does nothing to move you forward as a human being.

What are some of the writing strategies I use to work through my pain and heal?

I have several different ways that I get ideas out of myself and into the world. And, all of them work well. For, it is really less about the strategy, than that you develop the habit of writing through any situation or context that you find yourself in. From pain toward healing.

Here are some strategies I use daily.

Whiteboards – I have three at home, and many at work, which include a complete whiteboard wall in my office. Very helpful. And, yes, there is also pain and healing that happens at work. It’s not just in our personal life that we need a release for our pain, whether that is frustration or some other emotion we are working through. I actually think that it is in the writing, considering, and working through the pain that healing occurs.
Post-its – on the go, these work very well. I will typically then collect them on a piece of paper, or tape them to a larger 2’x3′ post-it, so that I can play with the ideas. See what’s there, and what possibilities I can see for moving forward.
Journaling – I don’t write in a journal as often today, yet it is still a strategy that I recommend. Especially if you are new to writing about your own pain.

Those are the top three I’ve used, and use daily. And, they all work well, and can be used in combination. Example.

I will also tape post-it’s to pieces of paper, and put them on my magnetic whiteboard. Good visual, and easy to move around, and play with.

Why write through your pain to heal?

Because we all need the release. When we hold all of our pain inside, we cannot heal. It will reside within us, and actually make us ill. Not helpful.

Moving forward from pain, especially deep pain, requires visiting that pain often. Understanding it, working on it, and eventually releasing it. Carrying it around is unnecessary, though many people live this way.

Writing opens us up, and is a safe way to get out that which resides within. There are many different ways to write about pain. You can simply write about the pain, or you can create poems, or other stories about the pain.

What matters more than the writing medium you use, is that you provide yourself the opportunity to heal. Very important.

Know also that it takes time to heal. You may write about something that is causing you pain, and not know healing from that pain for some time. For me, it also takes reflecting upon the pain in my writing.

When I can sit and contemplate that pain, I can see more, and have new insights. It is common for me to go back to something I’ve written several times before I can see a pathway to healing. Very normal.

How can you get started?

Start writing. Write on anything and at any time. Get your pain out of you and into the world so you can actually see it, and work on it. Important.

If you leave your pain inside of you, that is where it will always remain. Literally.

Choose times that work best for you, and create a habit of writing often. For it is in the healthy habit that you create to write about your pain often, that you have the best opportunity to know healing from that pain, and all pain.

Developing a healthy writing habit that is honest and reflective of the pain that lives inside of you creates a connection between your mind and your heart. And, it is inside of the connection between the two that all healing lives.

Write well and heal well.

#healing, #introspection, #journaling, #mind-and-heart, #mindfulness, #self-development, #self-inquiry, #strategies-for-healing-from-pain, #writing, #writing-about-pain, #writing-to-heal