A Blogger’s Diary 11/29/30: On Writing, Extreme Risk, and Our Head and Heart

Photo by Jane Palash on Unsplash

As I reflect back upon this week, it occurs to me that, yes, it too was a busy week, as, at work, we prepared to publish and send out our fourth completely remote digital schedule of classes. Wow.

In some ways, it’s hard to believe that we’ve now been creating and delivering completely remote classes and training for 10 months. Phew.

And, in other ways, not so hard to believe. Because, some days it feels like we’ve been living inside of this pandemic a lot longer. Keep breathing everyone. Really.

Writing? Sure. Here we go.

Writing

More writing this week, which was a blast. Here’s what that looked like in case you haven’t seen them all yet.

Another wow. Lots of writing this week. Fun! And, next week?

Hm. I’m a little more unsure about my writing next week than usual. I know, I know, I actually write that quite often, or something like that, maybe in a different way. Why?

Because I am truly unsure how it will go. Much of that has to do with how much time I’ll have to write. It’s different every week. And?

Well, here’s the plan anyway.

More poetry? Oh, yes, of course! I am having such a great time writing poetry. I am working on several pieces right now! Much fun.

I will also be working on the Leadership Series this week, on installment, well, 2.5, which is the other half of the second installment on developing the self. More fun!

I’m sure I’ll also have a reflection series post this week, though last week that did not occur. We will see. And, you know, for me, that’s part of the fun.

Seeing what comes. What insights happen throughout the week, and how they, sometimes, turn into poetry or another post. The creative process is quite beautiful. Wouldn’t you agree?

Photo by Kyle Ryan on Unsplash

Extreme Risk

In last week’s entry, I wrote a little about the 2-week freeze the Governor put Oregon under, which expires, I think, this coming Wednesday.

Yet, not really. Why?

Well, it turns out the county I live in, and the county I work in have been classified as extreme risk. Meaning?

Continued restrictions. Difficult. And, yet totally understandable.

Last week, my oldest son told me that University sent everyone home over the Thanksgiving break, and told them not to return until winter term, which starts in early January.

Like I’ve written, it is hard right now, for everyone, everywhere. Hang in there.

Photo by Langa Hlatshwayo on Unsplash

Head and Heart

The Monday message I scheduled to go out to the team this week was created specifically because of how hard it is living inside of the pandemic right now. Has been hard, and is still hard. That is our current reality.

And, inside of that reality, it is important for each of us, all of you, yes, and me, to remember to take care of our head and our heart. Really important.

I’ve written a lot about how I take care of my head and heart, so will simply write here that however you do that matters less, than doing it. Taking care of yourself. Being with yourself. Caring for yourself. Important.

When we care for ourselves, we can care for everyone else that much more. It works that way.

Please remember to take care during this terribly stressful time.

And, lastly, I wanted to share a couple of quotes that are also part of the Monday message scheduled for tomorrow. Why?

Well, because I think they are inspirational, just like each of you. Here we go.

“One day we will learn that the heart can never be totally right if the head is totally wrong. Only through the bringing together of head and heart-intelligence and goodness-shall man rise to a fulfillment of his true nature.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

AZ Quotes

“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.” -Nelson Mandela

AZ Quotes

“People with high levels of personal mastery…cannot afford to choose between reason and intuition, or head and heart, any more than they would choose to walk on one leg or see with one eye.” -Peter Senge

AZ Quotes

“Knowledge is a great gift, and the thirst to seek it even greater. Use what you know…Head and heart…You are not made to give greater weight to one than the other.” -Nora Roberts

AZ Quotes

Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses. -Laozi

AZ Quotes

Love those. Beautiful. Alright, that’s all for this week.

As I’ve already written, keep breathing, keep moving, keep loving, keep learning, and keep living.

You are needed. You are an inspiration.

Have a great week, and be well, my friends.


#bloggersdiary, #covid-19, #diary, #headandheart, #laozi, #life, #love, #martinlutherkingjr, #nelsonmandela, #noraroberts, #petersenge, #quotes, #writing

Creating and Maintaining Relationships 5: An Important Distinction About Attachment and Healthy Relationships

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

What’s the difference between an attachment and a healthy relationship? And, why does it matter? Well, it’s only been in the past year, really, that I can really make this distinction. What does that mean?

Well, I hold a degree, actually two of them, that stipulate that I know about this distinction. Yep. And, while those pieces of paper are in frames, and the person writing this article does have intellectual information about the theoretical differences between attachment and healthy relationships, that is not knowing.

Alright, you are doing very well, stay with me. One more distinction.

Holding intellectual information means that you have a grasp, even expertise, in understanding a particular topic or subject. This is a true statement. Does it then follow that because you have intellectual information about a subject or topic that you also know about that topic or subject? No. Why?

Because to know something, really know it, in your head and your heart, you must have lived through it. It is the only way. It must be experienced.

While many people can theorize about the difference between attachment and healthy relationships, they only really know the difference if they have lived through something that has shown them that difference. Which is why I have only recently learned, and now know, about this distinction. And, it is an important one.

Here is a good example.

intellectual
The adjective intellectual describes something related to or using the mind or intellect. Your creative pursuit of singing in a rock band is different from your intellectual interest in 16th-century drama.

Vocabulary.com

In the above example, singing in the rock bank is known because it is being done, lived, it is real. While the intellectual interest in 16-century drama is purely theoretical, made up of ideas. The person that has intellectual information of 16-century drama can never know what being in a 16-century drama is like. Phew. Okay, I think that covers it.

Now let’s create the distinction between attachment and healthy relationships. The distinction between the two is important because many people believe they are in a healthy relationship with someone, when they are actually only attached. They are not really in a healthy relationship.

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Attachment and Healthy Relationships

It is important to understand that we are all attached to people, things, and objects. Attachment is a deep feeling we have for someone or something. These attachments will correspondingly drive our behavior, whether we are aware of it or not.

Because our attachments will drive our behavior and reciprocally our emotional state, they can often be destructive, especially in adulthood.

And, especially in relationships that don’t work so well. Why?

Because when we have a deep emotional attachment to someone, we will continue to stay close to that person even when it is unhealthy for us to do so. Think about the relationships you’ve had, or may have right now.

Do you have any that don’t work so well, yet you continue to stay in relationship with that person? We’ve all been there. That is attachment at work.

Of course, you can love someone, also be attached, and still not be in a healthy relationship. Also important to understand. Often people also confound love, and the attachment that comes with that love, with a healthy relationship.

It is particularly difficult the longer you are with the person; and, can be extremely painful when you finally make the choice to leave the relationship.

In effect, attachment can cloud our decision and choice-making process on leaving relationships that we are better off leaving. Difficult.

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

What Can We Do?

You can notice how you feel, how you think. Do you have an inner knowing that your relationship is not working, yet you stay?

Remember, if your inner-knowing acknowledges the relationship as not working, it is not a demerit. It happens to everyone at some point in their life.

When you know, you have a choice. You can stay, and continue to feel and think one way, yet act in a different way. However, know that when we feel and think one way, and act out of accordance with this knowing, we will be out of balance. Leading us to have more anxiety and frustration.

And, of course, when we have more anxiety and frustration, we are not being healthy to ourselves, or our partner. Really.

Know also that you can love someone completely, and still know that leaving is needed.

#anxious, #attachment, #frustrated, #headandheart, #healthyrelationships, #inner-knowing, #inuition, #relationships, #toughchoices, #toughdecisions, #unhealthyrelationships