A candle do I see
Standing straight and tall
Just like a tree
A strong base that holds it tight
All throughout the night
Flame atop
Is such a beautiful delight
A number we are given
Each year we pass the test
Just like the rest within the nest
Of humanity, and yes
We are given other things,
Like names that we hold dear
All throughout our years
On this planet
Spinning around the sun, and
Every 365 revolutions we earn another one
In response to the WDYS #57 prompt from Keep it Alive, by Sadje.
I am always thinking about, learning about, and practicing leadership. Really. Always. It is such an important concept and practice. Yes, professionally, and even more importantly, for me, in every aspect of my life.
Why?
Well, that’s what we’ll look at in this new series. There are so many questions to look at and discuss when it comes to leadership. Seriously. So many. Here are just a couple.
And? Oh, there are so many more.
Alright, in this first article, we are going to unpack leadership as a concept and practice. Ready? Great. Let’s get started by defining leadership. Yep. here we go.
Translate leadership into Spanish
The action of leading a group of people or an organization.
The state or position of being a leader.
The leaders of an organization, country, etc.
Lexico
Okay. Here we see that leadership is identified with leading a group of people or organization or being in a leadership position.
Yet, what does that really mean?
Before we get to that question, let’s try one more definition. The definitions are all a little different. Here we go.
the set of characteristics that make a good leader
the position or fact of being the leader
Cambridge Dictionary
Alright, we now have an additional concept in this new definition. Leadership in this definition is also associated with a particular set of characteristics. Yet, which ones? Hm. Confusing.
And, now?
Well, let’s assuage some of our confusion by unpacking these definitions, shall we? Good. Here we go.
Right, so leading people. Yes, yes, that is a part of leadership. Or, as I usually like to write, one piece of a whole. The whole you ask? Good question.
The whole of leadership as a principle and practice is a system. And, like all systems, it starts with each of us. The way we think and feel about leadership; our hopes, dreams, goals, and objectives. Yep, all of them.
In fact, all leadership starts with leading oneself. What does that mean?
It means that the way we treat ourselves, the principles and values we believe in, and the way we practice those principles and values are exactly how we lead.
Some people think that you can lead your life at home one way, and then lead your life at work in another way. Not so. Believe me, I’ve tried it. It just doesn’t work.
How you lead at home is the same as the way you lead at work. They are one.
Some of you right now might be thinking, as I once did, that’s not true; I have a set of values at home and a different set of values at work.
However, I am inviting you to consider that, in fact, believing that we hold different values at home than we hold at work is mere confusion. And?
That confusion will seep out into all that we do.
We can call that discord. And, that discord will confuse you, yes, and everyone else around you. Really. And, with confusion comes tension, disagreement, and disengagement.
The soultion?
Well, getting clear on your principles and values is a start. As is understanding why you treat yourself as you do; meaning, creating an awareness of yourself for yourself. Important. Then?
Let go of the principles and values that no longer serve you, and create new ones. We are creative beings first, and leaders second. All of us. Create symmetry between the self you are at home and the self you are at work.
You are one person after all. Create the leader you know yourself to be. One step at a time. Then?
And, then?
Create symmetry between your personal life and your professional life. As was aforementioned, they are one and the same anyway. Time to connect the two. There is tremendous power in this conceptual and practical example. And, then?
Well, with symmetry and practice, you will lead people. And, you will lead them from a space that is centered and clear on what you intend to create.
Leadership is not a position. Director, supervisor, and manager are a position, or even better yet, are a title.
Leadership is a philosophy and a practical way you live your life. Every aspect of your life in fact. If you think about leadership as a position, then?
You will create separateness between leadership and other aspects of your life. And, as we’ve just discussed, that leads to confusion and disengagement. You from yourself, and your team from you.
It is inevitable. People know when we are genuine and authentic. They can feel it, they can see it, and they can hear it. Simple.
One of the reasons people struggle in leadership is they are not clear on who they are as a human being. Listen, it’s not a demerit. I once had this same issue, and?
It’s hard. Very hard.
When you are not clear on who you are, how can you be clear on who your team is? You cannot. It’s just not possible. What is possible?
I could go on. Well, and we will, in future posts. For now, know that there are two things at this stage that are critical.
And, we will cover both of these topics in the next two articles. Now, let’s take a look at leadership as characteristics.
There are many places to look for and find lists, articles, even whole books on leadership characteristics. And?
Well, it is important to understand these characteristics, yet it is just as important to understand that these characteristics are a product of what leaders believe and think, and how they act.
Meaning, that understanding characteristics are only as good as actually developing a relationship with yourself, and understanding how that relationship will translate into your personal leadership style.
Know there are many more. These are the ones I’m most present to now, and the ones that I’m always present to actually.
I prefer to think about and practice leadership as another part of my life. A very important part of my life. Really.
If we think about leadership in regard to taking care of and leading ourselves through life, and then expand that to include the other people in our lives, it’s very important.
Let’s close this first installment with a few quotes, shall we? Good. Here we go.
“As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence.” – Lao Tzu
Benchmark
There we go.
Inspiration is an important part of leadership. And? Well, the leader must first find their inspiration, as we’ve discussed, and, then? It will go out to everyone else. Fun.
Ah, yes, collaboration is such an important leadership characteristic. Difficult, and yet so much fun and so worth the process.
I am fond of saying to the team I work on something like, you know we chose to institute the collaborative model we use today. It’s not the easiest way to do things, yet we believe it is the best way.
Lao Tzu makes a lovely point here about influence. When a team is rallied around a common purpose or goal, it is infectious, and it is as if the leader simply disappears. In fact, each person on the team, in their own way, becomes a leader. Beautiful.
Alright, we’ve made it to the conclusion of the first entry into this new series on leadership. And, I am excited about continuing it with you.
In the next installment, we will take a look at leadership from the perspective of the self. It is, as we’ve discussed, where everything starts.
And, it is exactly where we will start again next time.
Well, as it has been the past couple of weeks, poetry remained a large part of my creative writing experience this week. And? Well, as I’ve written about before, I do love it so much. Fun.
Let’s take a look at what happened this week, and what I’m working on for next week.
There we go. See. Lot’s of poetry. Fun. And, this week.
Well, I am currently working on the first installment in a new series on leadership, and I am pretty excited about it.
I think the information contained in the communication article I wrote this week, and the forthcoming leadership series will keep me busy for some time. Yep. Why leadership? A good question.
I do believe that leadership is a fundamental concept that is applicable to all of life. Yet, leadership is mostly talked about in regard to the workplace.
In this new series, then, we will take a different vantage point, and look at leadership as something that happens every day, in every context. And guess what?
Yep. It all starts with us. That is where leadership begins, and will be one of the main focuses of the first post. Lovely.
Poetry? Oh, yes, that will come too, and will be much fun as always.
As the pandemic cases continue to rise locally and in many other places across the globe, I am reminded of taking the time necessary to appreciate all aspects of life. And, to be grateful and thankful for everyone and everything. Important.
The Monday message I wrote for the team I work on this week, was about being thankful.
An important takeaway in times of great distress? Yes, I believe so.
I believe we can hold and practice gratitude and thankfulness even, and I would say it is even more important, when things are hard. Very hard of late. How?
By being present to all that is around us. A flower, a tree, the wind, the rain, each other, life in general. A precious gift.
I’ve actually reinstituted my daily walks, which, for a time, I had let go of. Why? Because it is a good way to practice being present. Present to all that is around us.
Here are a couple of beautiful pictures from my walks this past week. One from the campus where I work, and one from close to where I live.
I absolutely love the colors in both of these pictures. Just gorgeous.
Alright, before I end this entry, I would like to do two more things.
First, I would like to let you know how grateful and thankful I am for each of you. I’ve met some of the most amazing people, all of you, this past year. And, I want you to know that I appreciate each of you.
Second, a quote I adore.
“Use every distraction
Quote Mirror
as an object of meditation
and they cease to be distractions.” -Mingyur Rinpoche
Have a lovely week, everyone.
It’s in our hands,
Yours and mine,
A sublime undertaking
With so much potential for the making
In each moment exists
That true and powerful bliss
Let us not be remiss
About that which coexists
Like a tangle of weaves
Threadbare, and
A shouldered burden everywhere
A light that shines north
In its possibilities do come forth
A beautiful spectacle
With need of many respectful glances, and
Second chances made fair, with
All that is there for the taking,
Or rather, for the making
Creativity is our highest calling
People say, and yet we spend more time
Forestalling that which we know is our true nature
Which is also quite grand and sprawling
Believing instead in
Disconnection and separateness as truthful
When they are in fact quite deceitful
Listen my friends
To that which you know, and
Be bold, for it is not to dear to hold
Close to heart and use to make that grand start
For creation is there in every moment
Breathless and sweet as the afternoon breeze
A prize for our enjoyment
Use with care, and
Never be wary, nor tarry too long
Rather be daring, adventurous, and strong
And, in this moment?
Begin to create the life of your longing
Well, I just finished, The Reflection Series Part 4: What Do Coaching, Communication, and Insight Have in Common?, and I’ve continued to think both about relationships and communication. Why?
Because they both shape so much of our daily experience. In this 3-minute reflection, we will take a look at communication first, and then? Maybe relationships next time.
Right, so let’s define communication real quick.
[uncountable] the activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings or of giving people information
[uncountable](also communications [plural])methods of sending information, especially phones, radio, computers, etc. or roads and railways
Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries
There we go. Now, let’s unpack this a little.
Self-expression is one of the most empowering experiences. Being able to feel and say what is needed. Important. Often, people hold back, as I once did, for the sake of “not rocking the boat,” or fear of reprisal. The issue?
When we hold back how we feel and what we think, we are actually still continuing to communicate those feelings and thoughts. Though, because we’ve been holding back, they will come out in a less than productive communicative way.
Today I find it better to express the truth about how I feel and what I think, even when, and, maybe, most importantly when, it means how I feel and what I think may spur a difficult conversation. It is really okay, and is needed.
We communicate more about how we feel and how we think nonverbally than we do verbally. That is the truth. Which is why it is so important to be transparent with ourselves, first, about how we feel, and what we think, and then to communicate that to those we care about.
Again, if we choose to not communicate how we feel and what we think, we will still communicate these feelings and thoughts through nonverbal communication.
Whether that is an skance glance or gesture, or some other form of nonverbal cue. And? People close to us will pick up on it, even if they are unconcious of it, and, yep, will react to it. The issue?
When we lead communicative experiences that are healthy and transparent, we have the opportunity to create a context that is free of the fear of reprisal, or the inauthentic experience of “not rocking the boat.”
By the way, when we actively try to “not rock the boat,” know that the boat is probably already rocking. And?
It can be settled a bit by being open and communicative about how we feel and what we think.
Communication really does shape our experience. As my awareness has grown over the past three years, I am able to notice when my nonverbal cues are picked up on by other people, and, likewise, when I pick up on theirs.
It is an interesting experience, and is one that is ultimately empowering. We have the potential to create contexts that are communicatively healthy once we are aware. Aware of just how important healthy communication is, both verbal and nonverbal.
We all get frustrated, and, yes, even angry sometimes. That happens to us all. It is part of being human.
However, it is important to practice communicating with others when we feel this way; and, to take the time necessary to understand why we are frustrated or angry in the first place.
For, as we know, when we are frustrated or angry, we are not frustrated or angry because of what other people are doing. We are frustrated or angry with how we are thinking and feeling about what other people are doing, or what we are doing, or not doing. It’s always that way.
All communication starts with us. How we communicate with ourselves is the beginning for how we ultimately communicate with others. And?
When we take the time to communicate with ourselves, which includes listening, we understand ourselves that much better; and, we also understand the people we love and care about that much better too.
And, for me? That’s what it means to live and love a communicative life. It’s about taking the time to practice communication. Practice communicating with ourselves, yes, and then with everyone else. It is quite lovely.
Fears abound
As we progress, and
Distress over everything little thing
That transpires upon the wire
A balancing act, where we sway
With even the gentlest breeze,
Losing our balance
While gripping to our fear
Of what is seen through the valance
An illusion
Proven time and again, yet
We continue to buy-in,
To that which is seen and heard,
Like?
That very beautiful bird, a mystery
Deluge of the cloistered senses
Ever pleasant and on fire
For more presents,
Gifts from the unknown realms
Where safety reigns supreme,
Like?
That elm tree,
Solid and anchored deep
Even though the roots are hardly seen
Safe and strong,
Know that you always belong,
To that which is unseen, and is
Such a silent mystery, and
Also a part of our collective history, so
Remember, you are safe
As you look out through that valance
Don’t be deceived, rather be retrieved,
For it’s in your heart’s heart that you truly do believe
Have a lovely weekend, everyone.
What do you think that coaching, communication, and insight have in common? Hm. Not sure?
Or, maybe, you’re thinking it’s that they’re interactive, and that’s what they have in common, and, yep, that is true. Yet there is one more. Yep.
They are all part of a single system. Each one, coaching, communication, and insight, all of them, is a piece of a larger whole. Let’s take a look at these pieces so we can see the whole. Ready? Here we go.
Alright, I’ve written about coaching before, and, even wrote about a developed model that works pretty well. Yet, guess what? Yep. That model has iterated. Today? Here’s what it looks like now.
Yep, it is a complete system. And, yes, it is a system within a system. Meaning, that coaching is, yes, one piece in an overall system, and, yep, you begin with safety and end with it. Every time. Why?
Because creating safety for people is one of the most important aspects of developing high-functioning teams. Seriously. Watch.
What does it take to have a high-functioning team? Any ideas? Yep. Here we go.
There’s five. And, to have those five? Yep. Safety. Always.
In order to have high-quality coaching conversations, good communication must also be present. And, what, pray, are the components of good communication. Here are a few.
Sounds simple, yes? Well, it is, and yet, is a paradox, like most things in life. Why? Because it takes practice, and a commitment to persevere. You will make mistakes. And?
That’s okay. It’s part of it.
If we think that good communication feels good all the time, or looks one way or another, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Most of my favorite conversations today are loaded with work, for both people.
Here are a few more important concepts to develop good communication.
It takes work and time. Yet, when you practice listening and being present, all kinds of wondrous things happen. Really.
Ah, yes, one of my favorite topics. Insight. Beautiful.
Well, what’s the deal with insight anyway? When we typically think about insight, we think about that moment of clarity where we learn something we’d not considered before. Right? Yep.
However, insight can come in many forms. Seriously. Here are a few.
Yep. Insights are created through collaboration, whether that is through collaboration with yourself, yes, that’s true, or with another individual or team member, or with the entire team, organization, or community.
Insights are a product of high-quality communicative contexts that are safe. Period.
Alright, so what does creating coaching, good communication, and insight have to do with each other? Yep, you got it.
They are all a part of the relationship system. First, the relationships we have with ourselves, then, the team, organization, and community. True.
And, the relationship system is applicable in all social contexts. Meaning, you can substitute family with the team in the aforementioned example, and you have a whole and complete system for the family. Same.
There we go. That’s my 3-minute reflection on the relationships system, and why considering these pieces as connected and a part of a larger whole is very important for leaders, and, well, for everyone. Really.
In fact, one could argue, as I would, that your very relationships depend on it. Truth. Phew. That was fun.
Whether it is quiet,
Or a part of a noisy riot,
There are times to pause, and
Reflect, upon that which is there
A single stare focused and present
Paying attention, and freed up to
Release our tension, built up over time
Which may not be a rhyme, yet is
For surely sublime, and
Part of the space-time
Continuum
Part and parcel, then
To all that was before, a metaphor,
Yes, and
A signal of what’s in store
Which is often missed when distracted
And often retracted
From Self
Focus split over dimensions, so
Why not mention, divided attention
Is disconnection with the best of intentions
And not a problem, yet
Beware of the resistance
You may feel as the breeze blows,
Which is common prose for those that know
That resistance, and
Not persistence feeds the many
Lingering thoughts, which intrude
Without common interlude, and
Breech the listening device, so
Remember to be concise, focused,
And present in all that is pleasant,
As well as with all that is unpleasant
Both are important,
for growth depends on being engaged
With all aspects of our humanity,
Shared together not in vanity,
But, rather, for the sake of our collective sanity
When it comes,
In the light of day,
At the dawn, or at night
When the light has given way
To the setting sun
Remember,
The stillness, that thrills us
And fills us with a wonder, and
A grace that is never asunder
Though, yes, we may blunder, and grope
For and find thunder,
That stillness is always within you,
Waiting,
Like a light that burns bright
On very cold and stormy nights
When you are filled with chaos
And are in need of a returning
To that steadfast place,
Which is also a yearning
Rebirth and renewal
Are always there for your learning
Like a jewel
That shines forth, and
Reflects back all that is best
Especially when you are pressed
Yet never regressed,
And for surely blessed, and yes
Maybe even stressed,
For you see,
We are like the storm
As we enact and perform
Our duty on this planet of great beauty
Yet know that storming and performing
Are only a part of the knowing
One piece, just like
That stillness deep inside, especially
When we abide by all that is kind
Be blessed upon the tests
That come, and
Sit still in the knowing
That all is One, and that
You are growing and glowing
Through the storm we may call knowing
Insight is such a delight,
A fancy quite bright, which lives
Beyond the pale moonlight
Of your hearts desire,
A mystery
Hidden deep inside
Of a lifetime broadly acquired, and
Lived to its fullest as time transpires
Without notice, so please
Pay attention, and
Remember to mention
The insight you are delivered, which
Promises to be quivered
Possibilities
Unsheathed, and ready to take flight
Upon this night of joyful, and
Ready delight, a birthright
For each of us, even when
We feel disconnected, and
Not protected, knowing
Is always there, so don’t despair
Because life is fair,
A beauty in no need of repair,
Connected
A tranquil pair,
In love with all that’s there, so
Sit quietly and take measure
Of your hearts deepest pleasure
The insight will hum,
A breath whispered, of times yet to come
Have a wonderful week, everyone.
Develop. Inspire. Transform. 